You, Me And The Horses
by Uh.yeah
Summary: Pure and random Denial. The Doctor decides to take Rose horse riding. Just a bit of fun...
1. You, Me And The Horses

**A/N**: Well, I seem to have made it. I descended into the Valley Of The Angst-Ridden and have come out of it almost happy, albeit slightly unhinged. I'm now determined to write as many ridiculous and pointless but happy fics as I can. Huzzah! (Wow. I've never said 'huzzah' before…)

Anyway, a random fic. Not sure it's me best, but, you know. It's random and happy…

**Disclaimer**: Doctor Who belongs to the BBC, Rose belongs to the Doctor and the Doctor belongs to me… In my dreams.

For **UnangelicHalo, **because she is wonderful. (And likes horses…)

* * *

It was one of those rare moments of calm in the TARDIS. Rose was curled up on the sofa, giggling over a fashion magazine they had picked up on some strange, alien planet. The Doctor had his glasses on and was frowning over some kind of manual, his converse-clad feet resting on the central column.

He looked up as Rose laughed again, and watched her, happily, for a few seconds.

"You ever been horse riding?" He asked, suddenly.

She started at the sound of his voice and then frowned in concentration.

"Horse riding?"

"Yeah, horse riding. That thing where you sit on a horse and walk, trot, canter, gallop…"

"Shut up," scowled Rose, "Yeah, actually. This one time, years ago, my mate had a pony party for her birthday. We drove miles out to these stables and played all these… gymkhana I _think _it's called… anyway, we played all these games. It was actually really…"

She trailed off as she noticed the Doctor staring at her. "What?"

He wrinkled his nose up, scratching the back of his neck, "Well, it's not really _riding_, is it? I mean, trailing round an arena on overfed ponies. More 'village fete' than horse riding, if you ask me."

"What do you mean?" demanded Rose, "I won a rosette!"

"Well done you." He grinned mischievously, "What for?"

She hesitated a little before admitting, "I'm not really sure. We all got given one at the end…"

His grin grew even wider and pulling off his glasses, he jumped up.

"That's what we'll do then!" he announced.

"Do what?" asked Rose, closing her magazine up and laying it carefully to the side.

He pulled her to her feet. "Rose Tyler, I am going to take you horse riding."

"What, you and me? _Horse riding_?"

"Yeah, you and me, horse riding. Why not?"

Rose paused, "I don't know. It's just… weird. I mean, if you'd said, 'let's go uncover an alien plot for world domination,' it would have been a little less surprising."

"Well, we can do that later. Right now, I feel like horse riding. And what can I say?" asked the Doctor, spreading his arms out, "I'm unpredictable, me. No one knows what I'm going to do next. Least of all me. Now, you better go get ready. The TARDIS will have some stuff, of course. Some of those jodhpur-thingies - Oh, I love that word. _Jodhpur_. Wish I had the chance to say it more…" He thought about it for a few seconds before continuing, "Oh, and you'll need some boots. Black boots, though. Big green wellies can look odd. They say splashing-in-puddles more than riding."

He stopped as he noticed her still staring at him.

"What are you waiting for?" he asked, "Do you want to go riding or not?"

* * *

Rose walked awkwardly back into the Control Room, tugging at the material in irritation.

"Not exactly designed for comfort, are they?" she said, "They're a bit tight. More like leggings."

"Jodhpurs," stated the Doctor, relishing the sound of the word, "And they're designed for riding, not fashion." He studied her, "Besides, I think they look rather fetching."

"Hmmm…" Rose frowned, then brightened, "Still, I like the jacket. Makes me feel all professional. And the hat is fun, too."

"Yep. But it's not enough just to have the outfit. You've got to go out and experience the real thing."

He turned theatrically, coat flying and made for the door.

"Hang on," came Rose's voice from behind him, "Aren't you riding too?"

"Of course," he said, turning round and looking at her like she was stupid, "Think I'd let you have all the fun?"

"But you're going like _that_?"

"What's wrong with this?" asked the Doctor, defensively, looking down at himself, "I thought you liked my new suit."

"I do, but I'm standing here in full riding gear and you're haven't changed at all. I mean, you're riding in a suit?"

"Why not? I've done it before."

"And converse?"

"I do everything else in them."

"What about the long coat?"

"I think it'll look effective."

"Well, you're going to wear a hat, at least." She narrowed her eyes at him, "Aren't you?"

"Ah, now here's the thing - I've been trying to decide about that. I've been using a new combination of gel in my hair and I think a hat would mess it up. What do you think? Should I risk it?"

He looked hurt as Rose burst out laughing.

"What?" he demanded, patting his hair for reassurance, "What did I say?"

Rose didn't answer, just carried on laughing. He scowled as he noticed that she'd actually got tears of laughter in her eyes.

"Fine." he said, huffily, "Laugh at me. Not very nice, though, is it? I mean, I've taken you on this once-in-a-lifetime chance to go riding and all you do is laugh at me. Well. Thanks a lot. I didn't laugh at you in your jodhpurs."

Rose managed to calm herself down. "Sorry," she apologised, struggling to keep a solemn face, "Can't think what came over me. Shall we go?"

* * *

"Are we on Earth?" asked Rose, as they walked along the outskirts of a pretty green meadow.

"No," answered the Doctor, "But fairly similar planet in principle. Looks the same. The inhabitants don't look the same as humans, though." He grimaced, "In fact, they're downright ugly. Certainly uglier than your lot. I remember this one time, right, I was just innocently walking through this street somewhere - not sure where, can't quite remember - when one pops out in front of me. And I swear, I have never jumped so high in my life, just out of shock. And I've seen a lot in my time. But that alien? Hideous. And you know I don't like to be rude. Well, I don't _mean _to be rude. Most of the time..."

Rose suddenly stopped and gripped his arm.

"Hang on. Are we going to be riding normal horses? Not some weird, flesh-eating horse from an alien planet?"

The Doctor laughed, "Don't worry. This planet is known for importing horses from Earth."

"Right," relaxed Rose, relieved.

"Here we are!" exclaimed the Doctor, as they descended a dip in the field and came across two, large horses. "Aren't you beautiful, now?" He started stroking the neck of the black horse, "Yes, you are. You really are. Very, very beautiful."

Rose watched him, grinning.

"Come on," he called, encouragingly, "You take the grey."

"Grey?" asked Rose, "That horse is about as white as you can get."

"Equestrian term, Rose," explained the Doctor, "Got to use the lingo."

"Oh. Right." Rose wandered over to the blatantly white horse and began to hesitantly pat it.

"They're gorgeous," said Rose, happily, as she relaxed.

The Doctor grinned at her, then frowned as he remembered something. "Hang on," he said, starting to rifle through the pockets of his coat, "I know I have some somewhere…." He dug a little deeper into his pockets, looking up as he searched. "Ah ha!" He said, triumphantly, "Knew it."

Grinning widely, he produced two carrots. He handed one to Rose and fed the other to his horse.

"Right." said the Doctor, when there was no more carrot left, "Mine's called Thunder and yours is Lightning."

Rose snorted. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," said the Doctor in a low voice, looking at her sternly, "And don't insult their names. You don't want to make an enemy of your horse. Ok. Time we were off, I think."

"Doctor," said Rose, "How come there's no one else around? I mean, just a field and two horses all ready to go?"

"Do you know how long you take to get ready?" demanded the Doctor, "Well it's a long, long time. Gave me enough time to pop out to an old friend, borrow the horses and set everything up. And even have a quick cup of tea afterwards."

Rose smiled, "So it's just you, me and the horses?"

"It's just me, you and the horses," repeated the Doctor, grinning broadly and emphasising the words. "Well. I could have had the instructors with us. But to be honest, they might have been a bit of a distraction. Very alien," he explained, "Odd colour, nasty smell. Don't think you would have liked it. But never mind. Still got me, eh. And I think I can be just as good an instructor. I am a genius, after all."

"Of course you are," smiled Rose, sweetly. Before firmly stuffing a riding hat on top of his head.

"Mind the hair!" yelled the Doctor, but he stood still as she did it up for him.

* * *

After a lot of struggles, wobbling and laughter, the Doctor finally managed to get Rose established in the saddle. Before neatly swinging onto his own horse and rearranging his coat behind him.

He turned the head of Thunder so he was looking at her.

"Very nice," he approved, "Now, so long as we don't move or _do _anything, you look like a professional rider."

"Shut up," laughed Rose. "So. How do I drive this thing?"

"Drive this thing…? Rose, you don't _dri_-" he stopped as he realised she was joking. "Oh, ha ha. Very funny. I'm sure you remember some stuff from your pony party."

"I remember a little," said Rose, coaxing the horse into a walk. "But I feel like doing something more than just walking and trotting."

The Doctor grinned broadly at her. "That's more like it. Off we go, then."

They followed a path out of the field and into another, even greener field. Rose was concentrating on staying in the saddle, but once she had relaxed she suddenly realised that there was nothing around. Nothing at all.

"It's all so green and empty," she commented to the Doctor. "It's beautiful."

The Doctor slowed his horse so he was walking beside her, rather than in front.

"That'll be due to the small population. Rather hard to procreate when you look worse than an Ood. How are you feeling?"

"Good," beamed Rose, "I love it."

"Great. Let's try cantering."

Rose's smile fell. "I don't think that's a good idea, just yet. I mean, we haven't been doing this for very long. I've never done anything faster than a trot before. I might fall."

"Then you'll get right back on." grinned the Doctor, winningly.

"But I can't canter," protested Rose.

"Oh, don't say that," moaned the Doctor, "Yes you can. You can do anything you want."

And with that, he clicked his horse on ahead, into a canter. Before Rose knew what she was doing, she was following at the same speed.

"Doctor!" she screeched, "That was not… fair."

She wobbled a bit, but soon found herself settling into the rhythm. And she found that he was right. She could.

He looked back over his shoulder, and seeing she was settled, kicked his horse on even faster.

"Think we'll try a gallop now," he yelled back over his shoulder.

"Don't you…" shouted back Rose, slightly out of breath, "Don't you dare. I'll _kill _you. I mean, it! Don-"

But it was no use, because of course the Doctor wasn't going to listen. And soon, Rose found herself going faster than she'd ever gone. Well, it felt like it, anyway. And she also found that she wasn't worried about falling off anymore. Simply because she was going so fast it wouldn't have been possible. And she loved it.

They galloped out of the field, into a wide open plain, and Rose's horse drew out till it was galloping level with the Doctor's. They galloped along side by side, wind full on in their faces, completely exhilarated.

Rose caught the Doctor's eye and soon they were both laughing loudly and wholeheartedly, without having slowed down at all.

She was still laughing when they finally drew to a halt and let their horses rest.

"See," said the Doctor, eyes shining, "What did I tell you? Now that - _that _is what I call horse riding." He threw his head back and whooped with delight.

"Oh, God, that was _brilliant_. Why haven't I done this before?"

"Because you hadn't met me?" suggested the Doctor, impishly.

"God, you're so _full _of it," laughed Rose, but they both knew it was true.

That sat happily, letting the horses eat grass as they both tried to regain their breath.

"God," sighed Rose, contentedly, "This is amazing. Just as good as riding your horse along a beach. You know," she prompted, when he looked up at her, quizzically, "They always do it in films, or on those holiday programmes. Those places where people go and ride along a beach at sunset. This is better, I reckon."

"Better?" asked the Doctor.

"Well, this is all amazing. I've loved it. Even though I've secretly always wanted to do the beach thing."

"The beach thing." the Doctor sat up a little straighter and flashed her a wide grin, "Your wish, Rose Tyler, is my command." He motioned to his left, where Rose suddenly caught sight of a sea, glistening just beyond the expanse of open fields.

"That's miles away," she protested.

"Not really," said the Doctor, "I'd say we'd get there… Oh, I don't know… Just before sunset?"

His eyes sparkled as he grinned at her, shocked into silence.

"I believe the word you're looking for is 'impressive'" he said, laughing as he turned his horse in the direction of the sea.

"We're going to need another horse for your head soon!" she called after him, as she began to follow.

* * *

He was right. Most impressively, their horses' hooves hit the sand just as the sun had begun to sink lower in the sky. Side by side, the horses trotted gently down to the water's edge, so they were walking just in the surf as it licked the shoreline. The night was warm, but crisp and the sea air was irresistible.

Rose inhaled deeply, as they walked lazily forward. "This," she announced, "is beautiful."

"Hmmm," agreed the Doctor.

She glanced at him sideways, "Almost romantic, Doctor." She teased, tongue in her cheek.

"I know," said the Doctor, grimly. He roused himself, "Still, better than domestic, eh?"

Rose laughed. "You're impossible. Very impressive, but very impossible."

The Doctor grinned, "Ah, but you wouldn't have me any other way, Rose Tyler."

And at the same time, they both kicked their horses forwards so they were cantering along the beach, sand and sea spray flying from the horses' hooves.

"Look at that," said the Doctor, his horse so close to hers that he didn't even need to shout.

Rose looked out across the sea and her breath hitched as she saw the spectacular sunset descending over the sea. The horizon was a wash of colour and Rose didn't think she'd ever seen anything so beautiful in her life.

Delighted, she turned to smile at the Doctor and found him watching her, a joyful grin on his face.

* * *

They walked back to the TARDIS, arm in arm, smiling up at the stars. Two of the aliens had come to collect the horses and give them a lift once they had reached the other end of the beach. And the Doctor hadn't been joking - Rose had almost fallen off her horse at the sight of them.

"Shame," said the Doctor, wistfully.

"What?" asked Rose.

"Shame we couldn't keep them. I've always wanted a horse."

"What, in the TARDIS?"

"Why not?" he demanded.

"Wouldn't be very fair on the animal," reasoned Rose, squeezing his arm, reassuringly.

"It would be fine," protested the Doctor, "Once we got it through the door and into the Control Room and down the corridor… Actually, maybe not. She probably wouldn't like it, anyway."

They walked along for a few more minutes in silence.

"We stink," said Rose, happily.

"Yeah, we do," agreed the Doctor, "But in a nice, horsy way. Not like those guys back there. Did you get a whiff of that second alien? I mean, I know they have different customs, but why forfeit personal hygiene?"

"Oi," laughed Rose, "That's a bit harsh, isn't it?"

"Am I being rude?" he asked.

"Just a bit, yeah."

"Oh. Sorry." He thought for a moment. "Actually, no I'm not. They _stank_."

Rose laughed as he guided her inside the TARDIS.

"Well," he announced, "I feel like a nice cup of tea."

"You don't look like one," said Rose, charitably.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Very funny. Do you want one? Hang on…" he put his hands to his head and realised he was still wearing the riding hat. "Oh. Now that was comfortable. I didn't even realise I was wearing it!"

He pulled the hat off and wandered over to a mirror he'd installed in the control room.

"My hair!" he exclaimed, staring at his reflection with dismay, "I liked it like that!"

Rose came up behind him and ruffled his hair, "Beautiful," she teased, kissing the top of his head.

"Really?" he asked in surprise, turning to her.

"No," admitted Rose, "But it's very kissable." She kissed the top of his head again.

The Doctor stood up a little straighter.

"Well, then. I'll just have to wear a smelly hat for a few hours more often."

Rose laughed and ruffled his hair once more. "Now, do you want tea or not?"

"Yeah, I do," said the Doctor, "Actually, how come your hair looks ok? I had my hat on for just the same amount of time…"

"Just the work of natural beauty… and a hair band." explained Rose.

"Natural beauty my… foot," laughed the Doctor, following her into the kitchen.


	2. Epilogue

**A/N**: Just to finish...

**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

* * *

"Good morning! Well done for making it out of bed." exclaimed the Doctor, encouragingly,as Rose stumbled into the kitchen. "I've made some breakfast. But don't get used to it. This is purely a one off."

"Great," enthused Rose, walking with some difficulty over to the table.

The Doctor stared at her.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sitting down," said Rose, somewhat tetchily.

"No, I mean, why are you walking all…" he did a brief imitation, "Like a duck?"

"I think the question ought to be why aren't _you_?" demanded Rose, "We were both riding for the same amount of time."

"I suspect I'm just fitter than you," said the Doctor airily. "Don't worry, you'll feel better soon. Well, hopefully soon. Sometimes it can take a few days. Some people say it's actually worse the second day and they give up on walking altogether… Anyway," he continued quickly, noticing the dark look she shot him, "Breakfast! You always feel particularly hungry after a day's riding."

"So." he said, as he watched her wolf down her breakfast with alarming speed.

"So." said Rose. She studied him for a few minutes, then frowned, "What the hell have you done to your hair?"

The Doctor ran his hand through his hair, self-consciously.

"Well, I'm experimenting. Tried to style it so it looked like I'd been wearing a riding hat for a few hours."

Rose snorted, but turned it into a cough when he looked hurt.

"Not my favourite look," she said, kindly. "You know what, you should try backcombing it."

"You think?" asked the Doctor thoughtfully, "We'll see. I suppose it's such a shock to have so much hair I never know what to _do _with it." He froze, "God, I sound like a woman..." He shuddered. "Anyway, let's do something manly. Well, I'll do something manly, you can do something feminine. Or, if you want, you can do the manly thing, too. Just… don't be more manly than me. Because then I might be left to do the feminine thing…"

Rose stared at him, completely bewildered.

"Are you having an identity crisis?" she asked, considerately.

"No, no, I'm fine," insisted the Doctor, "Just talking too much. I really ought to stop, shouldn't I? Anyway. How do you feel about uncovering an alien plot for world domination? Fancy it?"

"Yeah, sounds great." said Rose, "But…"

"But what?" asked the Doctor, frowning.

"But can it wait until I can walk again?"

* * *

Ah. Pure randomness. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! I'm off horse riding now… Sadly without the Doctor.

I would really love a review, cos I'm not too sure about this one…


End file.
